Disclaimer : The views expressed herein are solely the product of author’s excellence at procrastination, and are in no way influenced by any standards of social etiquette, thoughtfulness, or fear of brickbats. The author also takes full responsibility for offending some and might tender a private apology if sufficiently bullied.
1. When someone takes the time out (even if it is a few nanoseconds to copy and paste) to wish you a happy birthday, do post in a thank you (or copy it – whatever works). It’s not as if the entire friend list ganged up and sent you a single, joint birthday wish, is it? So why the collective ‘Thank you, people! I am touched.’ ?
2. Seriously people, before hitting the ‘like,’ read! Liking someone’s pet passing away, or worse a family member, is not cool. So the status that reads, ‘I miss you, Bruno.’ with thirty-five likes under it, reflects thirty-five fairly twisted minds.
3. So you are dining at a suave restaurant. Do you really have to check- in? We need to know because? Ah, what if someone wants to send a personalised, hand-written congratulatory note? Got it.
4. My husband’s favourite threat to me is, ‘I’ll wish you your birthday on facebook, complete with a flowery poem and hearts strewn all over.’ Let’s just say, I get fairly threatened. You are living under the same roof right? How about a personal, private ‘love you’ message? The world needs to know of your undying love because?
5. You meet someone in the real world and see them ducking behind the curtain and yet you walk up to ask, ‘Why didn’t you accept my FB request?’ Dude, seriously?
6. Before sharing a status message, check for facts. The credit card pin, when entered backwards, doesn’t get registered with the police as an SOS – You’d be lucky if dialing 100 (or 911) did.
7. Political opinions can be discussed amicably. Threats and foul language reflect more about you than the issue at hand. And the point in scaring the other person into getting a real world restraining order is?
8. You like every status, picture, and activity that finds it’s way to the virtual world. And you seriously think that no one notices when you sneak away from posts asking you to share information about donating to a cause, or adopting a stray? Really?
9. Do we need to have an opinion on everything? And that too, at the far end of the spectrum? No I have no opinion on every person, story, issue – so you messaging me about it is not going to change anything.
10. You do know that when you read a private message/ update in a small group a tiny tick appears under the message? So pretending that you never got the update, and hence, did not do the needful will get you a step closer to getting struck down. Get creative – think of a better excuse.
11. Cancelling a friendship request and then resending doesn’t make us long lost buddies.